Oh Baby!

In India:
"Nearly 10 million newborn children die in the world ever year. Twenty-five percent of these are in India. And one-fifth of those who die are in Uttar Pradesh alone. In other words, every fourth child to meet a sad end is from India and every fifth Indian child dies in UP."
Times of India


And just as you would expect, The Gates Foundation is on it: Melinda Gates visits India


In America:
"Nearly one-in-five American women ends her childbearing years without having borne a child, compared with one-in-ten in the 1970s. While childlessness has risen for all racial and ethnic groups, and most education levels, it has fallen over the past decade for women with advanced degree." 

Research

There are rules?

I was asked to share my thoughts on volunteering/working/living abroad for an extended period of time. Here is what come to mind (in no particular order)...

1.   You have a lot to gain from all the people around you, so even when you want to walk away, stay put or when you want to interrupt, listen for a little longer.

2.    Do your best to not generalize. Its easy to fall into the trap, but notice when you are doing it and remind yourself that all you see and understand is not what happens everywhere and to everyone.

3.    Language is a problem.  Fight to learn as much as you can.  Enjoy the experiences when you can’t understand a word being exchanged.  Smile and be engaged. Expressions say a lot.

4.    Take the time to reflect on how little you know.

5.    Don’t underestimate yourself.  You can do a lot and if you are flexible enough you can really grow a great amount professionally.  First listen, take your time to better understand, and then get on it.  Make sure that whatever projects you take on you are as invested in them as your organization is.

6.    Remember that you have a lot more control than you realize in all situations.  You often cannot change what goes on around you but you can alter how you internalize and react to external factors.  Reflect on how you handle situations and think of ways to do it better next time.  There will always be a next time.

7.    You are here for a short time.  Remember that.  Don’t dream up big new projects or take the lead on major developments, be helpful but recognize when its time to step down.  The organization was here before you and, if you are lucky, it will be there after you.

8.    Do a lot.  This way when something goes wrong, and it will, you have many other things happening to focus on.  Keep your spirits high.

9.    Find a way to stay active outside of work.  Join a pool, play Frisbee, read at a café- force (sometimes it feels forced at first) yourself to be out.

10.  Learn the rules first, break a few later. 

11.  It gets hot. Really hot.  But somehow we all make it out ok and look back on it somewhat fondly.  Get excited and embrace it.  Then find some A/C and don’t feel (too) guilty for occasionally hiding out in it.

Last but not least, be sincere.  You are bound to get lost in the struggle of trying to navigate cultural sensitivity, relativism, empathy, and everything else that comes along with this work, but always be true to yourself.  As much as you learn from those around you, be sure to return the favor and share your self (or yourself).  As much as you question what you see and hear, take the time to question what you feel and say.  You know when someone is not being sincere- its awkward and hurtful.  

If you do nothing else, just be sincere.

You have no idea what you have gotten yourself into!  (And that’s probably the best part of it all)

bush legs in the FSU

from: NY Times

Bush Legs

Russian nickname for American chicken products.

“Of all the disputes great and petty that have marred relations between Russia and the United States over the years, chicken has provoked more than its share of angst and animosity,” Michael Schwirtz reported from Moscow for The Times:

The United States under the first Bush administration flooded Russia with American chicken as food aid in the early 1990s, products that Russians came to call “Bush legs.”

These stocks – mostly thighs and other parts, not many drumsticks – helped feed hungry Russians reeling from an economic collapse. They also came to symbolize the humiliation of a once-great nation reduced to dependence on food handouts.

According to Schwirtz, the Russian government has now banned the import of American chicken over the failure of American producers to comply with Russian food safety rules:

The move might cause poultry prices here to spike, but there was nevertheless a tinge of national pride last week when Prime Minister Vladimir V. Putin told Russian poultry producers that Russia was no longer dependent on Bush legs.

Igor introduced me to Seth

I once had this friend Igor, we bonded over being russian jews in the midwest. We were introduced through BBYO and met a handful of times during our angsty years (read: high school) despite the 3 hour difference between where I called home, Nebraska, and where he called home, Kansas.  Earlier this year we happened to catch each other online and he mentioned he would be coming to India. 

"Funny, I am living in India," I responded. 

"Ya, but I am going to some unheard of place way in the West."

"Hey! Thats where I live!"

He was in Ahmedabad for about 4 days finishing a consulting project arranged through an MBA course at Yale.  I tricked him into treating me to dinner at a fancy hotel (picture with the chef above) and our friendship was back on. Just a few weeks ago he wrapped up his MBA and is now giving 100% to his start up, MyResumeShop. (congrats)

All this to say that Igor just sent me the latest post on Seth's Blog, a short and sweet blog that usually gives worthwhile advice. I share it with you...

"This better work"

... is probably the opposite of, "this might work."

"This better work," is the thinking of safety, of proven, of beyond blame.


"This might work," on the other hand, is the thinking of art, innovation and insight.


If you spend all day working on stuff that better work, you back yourself into a corner, because you'll never have the space or resources to throw some 'might' stuff into the mix. On the other hand, if you spend all your time on stuff that might work, you'll never need to dream up something that better work, because your art will have paid off long ago.

empathy explained

Blogger just released their new design software, so I was eager to experiment with the look of this blog. Sorry for the habitual editing, but I want to better understand HTML and social media, so playing with all the new gadgets is part of the syllabus. Any feedback, advice, tips and tricks are greatly appreciated.

On a more thoughtful note, something I have been struggling with during my year here is how to relate to the people I work for (marginalized communities) and how to express why I chose to do this work. How do I treat people with empathy without slipping into unproductive sympathy?


Empathy- intellectual & emotional awareness and understanding of another person’s thoughts, feelings, and behavior even that are distressing.

Sympathy- sharing another’s feelings especially in sorrow or trouble through imaginative identification with the other’s situation

Empathy emphasizes understanding while sympathy is more about sharing feelings and experiences. I have steadily come to realize that because of my ability to stand up and leave at any time, among other things, rooting my willingness to help spread people-driven development (aka grassroots, local, etc) in sympathy is shallow and unproductive.  

My friend Rachel passed this along and now I toss it your way ...

dont let the bed bugs bite

my paper thin, handmade mattress sewn together by this talented tailor on the streets of Ahmedabad lays pathetically on a stained frame with a wood chipping, probably because of the heat.  no spring board. no fluff.

my two pillows are hard rocks beneath my head forcing me to shuffle around for several minutes before i actually accept that yes, this is what i will be sleeping on for the next 8 hours.  I should (or should have by now...) go out and buy at least one pillow that provides a safe haven for my tired, or is it confused, mind after a day of navigating India.  But, then I think about abandoning this lavish $5 purchase when I leave in two months, and well I already have 2 right here, so do I really need to go out there and search for something that in all fairness, probably doesn't even exist?

Its summer here now so the routine shifts, slightly. Every night for the the past month and a half, i have unraveled an extra mattress, originally purchased for house guests, on my 4x4.5 balcony (once home to my makeshift garden* and still where I hang my laundry).  I throw down a pillow that thumps like a brick hitting pavement and sends dust scattering in all directions and tensely lay down hugging my knees to my stomach as to avoid touching the dirty wall.  I fit, mostly.  For added comfort, I screwed in a light bulb above to make bedtime reading possible while I patiently wait for the howling winds to kick in.  The cool air that whips through Ahmedabad from 2 to 7 in the morning chills the body much better than repeatedly dumping lukewarm water on my self and laying under a fan hoping to fall asleep before the devilish heat strikes, once again.  Finally I achieve it- sleep that isn't interrupted every two hours by the suffocating heat of India. Finally!

That was until two days ago when I noticed small bites on my leg. Bed bugs or worse- its India, there has to be something worse.  The mattress now sits rolled up in a bag, my balcony is now solely used for laundry, and I am once again dumping buckets of water on myself, albeit less frequently than before.  I am back to laying in the heat of the night and calmly wondering when my $50 desert cooler will start to cool.

Lessons learned: 1. having light on your balcony is genius! 2. bugs do ruin lives 3. lizards don't eat bed bugs  4. desert coolers suck

* my garden was unable to withstand the heat. it is now a collection of cut up bottles with crusty soil in the corner of my balcony.

a Jew & the Lotus- sorta

Q: Is yoga kosher? (an article from Tablet Magazine)

A: So I asked my yoga teacher at City Yoga in West Hollywood, Linda Eifer, a Conservative Jew, what she thought. “Yoga is not a religion,” she said, emphatically. “It’s a spiritual practice that combines the body, the mind, and the spirit. It’s based on an ancient Indian tradition that includes inspiration from statues, which are a mythology that combine human and divine characteristics.” But, aside from the statues, that’s pretty much what my religion is to me.

David Adelson, a Reform rabbi in New York who is enrolled at the Institute for Jewish Spirituality, a two-year program that includes yoga retreats and text study, offered a distinction. “If I’m in a church around Christmastime, I sing and even say ‘Jesus’ in the hymns. I know that I am just singing because I like singing, and in no way praying, so it doesn’t worry me,” he said. “Yoga feels just a bit dicier because I am a full participant in the experience, not an observer. But I believe in general that to constitute avodah zarah, you probably need some kavana,” or intention.

Kavana is an interesting thing. Intuitively, it would seem that a religion demanding absolute morality would be concerned with intention. But, actually, that’s not really the case. If you eat bread on Passover, even accidentally, you have sinned. If you give charity but grudgingly, the charity still counts for the good. On Yom Kippur, we repent for sins we didn’t even know we did. And then there are Hannah’s sons—seven Jews who chose to die rather than bow to Antiochus, the Greek ruler who tried to forcibly convert Jews in 167 BCE. Bowing but not meaning it wasn’t an option. Judaism is concerned not just with your actions but also very much with how your actions appear to others. Bowing is the physical manifestation of idolatry, whatever your intention. “Do not make idols or set up an image or a sacred stone for yourselves,” says Leviticus 26:1, “and do not place a carved stone in your land to bow down before it.”

But let’s ignore that for a second, and accept Adelson’s argument that intention does matter. Even so, don’t I intentionally practice yoga? And while Eifer, my yoga teacher, had said she doesn’t find yoga incompatible with Judaism because her status as a Jew isn’t compromised by her practice of yoga, I have a more literal view of Judaism and what it expects from me. I believe that I’m supposed to practice only Judaism. I don’t believe the practice of another religion makes me an adherent of that religion, but I do believe that I choose to only practice Judaism. The rituals and chanting that was expected of me in yoga seem like another religion to me—and practicing another religion is practicing another religion.

But Srinivasan, the senior teacher at the worldwide Shivananda Yoga Vedanta Centers, says I have it backwards. “Yoga is not a religion, but a science of religion,” he explained. “It applies to all religions. It’s not that yoga comes from Hinduism. Hinduism originates in yoga. Buddhism comes from yoga, too.” Srinivasan doesn’t see how spiritual yoga practice and Judaism are incompatible. “Rabbi Shlomo Carlebach used to come to our Ashrams,” he said. “He understood we were talking about the same thing. Hasidic mysticism and Kabbalah are very much in line with yogic thought.”

yoga at home

yogis on a dime

I joined an ashram for yoga. this is a truly special place in Ahmedabad- people from all over the world come here to learn and the resident yogis are hailed as some of the finest in the world.  My yoga teacher from before was trained here and continues to meditate with his yogi pals at the 'shram.  For me it is special because as soon as you walk inside you are met with plush greenery and a kind breeze.  2 things I miss, a lot. Most days we have class outside on the lawn, in America we call it Bikram Yoga, here it's just another day in the city/sauna.  We start and end with a prayer I have yet to memorize.  The only part I chime in on is "shanti, shanti, shanti" ("peace, peace, peace") and then i sit quietly while the rest work their way through words that are mere sounds to me.  Then yoga begins. Since it is all in Gujarati, I never know when to open my eyes, close my eyes, change positions, or tuck my toes under.  I position myself in the room so i can catch a glimpse of what others are doing.  However, often times people choose to not participate or simply fall asleep, so I have to get clever. The other tricky thing is looking while my eyes are closed.  I need to know when quiet meditation is over and I need to know when it is ok to once again inhale, but when you don't understand the difference between "relax" and "breathe" and are unable to see what everyone else is doing- it gets challenging.  I have gotten good at sneaking peaks, but when my teacher catches me, I am scolded by her eyes.

Today, Ben, a friend's son, asked to come along.  He is 8, has been living here for 4 years, learning Gujarati, Hindi, English and another language to come shortly. He loves telling elaborate stories, dreams of being an inventor, and once ordered spaghetti with olives and vinegar for dinner (WHY?).  He has a great outlook on things and is eager to get out of the house and explore- I often feel drained, but being around his energy rejuvenates me.  In fact, even the calm of yoga couldn't keep this kid down. He gave up on the class during starting prayer and instead chose to run around the big lawn (rare around these parts) throwing water bottles and watering hoses around.  very peaceful.

He had a hard time holding in a giggle while women around him were burping and farting. Frankly, so did I!  After yoga he said, "Why do you go when the ground is so hot? Maybe you should stop. You sweated more than me and I was running laps around the field."

I don't think he wants to go again...but you can catch me there every day after work. I am hooked.

Price info: suggested donation is $5/month for 6 days of 1 hour classes!

mail box

i took a quick trip to the local post office.  when I asked for some glue to seal the envelopes, I was directed to a steel can with a thin pen acting as the paint brush to smear dried glue.  Putting glue in a rusty can directly in the sun seems like a bad idea to me, but then again organizing a post office like this seems like a bad idea too.

if you dont get a letter from me, dont be surprised. if you do get one and the envelope is sealed with staples, again, dont be surprised.